My (Omar's) Memoirs: Chp 1--Predictions

"My (Omar's) Memoirs" may look like an acronym for M.O.M. meaning she is really behind all this but it's not. I mean, she's cool and all--letting me use her blog, giving me life--but this little player's wings need to fly. I've got things to say, people to meet. And I was thinking about those people, you know, who would be my road dogs when I'm a teenager. I figure if I hang out here in the Bay, I'll be kicking it with some hip hop heads: Max with the Jew fro and Ronni from the Phils. We might even start a multi-genre, multi-ethnic band. But that's if I stay out this way. I'm thinking if I end up in Santa Cruz--if pops has his way--I'll be stuck in a tree somewhere chillin' in a cloud of smoke. That could be cool. I should save some of my teething rings and pacifiers then, in case I start tripping too hard. Fortunately, I'm cute so I can get away with anything, at least now that's the case.

These past few months have been cool. Everything was quite a shock a few months ago. Lots to get used to now. I heard my moms complaining about my poops like I don't have a sense of smell or something. That's when I play with her belly and make it jiggle so we're even.

Omar out.

Sandino Baby

I've been thinking about creating another blog about baby stuff but I can barely keep up with this one, so why am I tripping.

But I do have thoughts, and they come just about daily, with respect to trying to raise a little person in a somewhat natural way. With capitalism, we often times celebrate the success of McDonald's but a rarely critical of the fatal effects of consuming their products. I say that just so that we can keep this in mind when thinking about baby--these innocent little people who soak up the good and bad quite easily--and the importance of rejecting all the crap people try to sell mothers. So in keeping with what I do best, here is a top ten list of considerations for all us who are new mommies, either biologically or because you know me.

10. Indigenous peoples aren't pushing their babies around in a $500 stroller or putting baby to sleep in a thousand dollar crib. The body is quite amazing in providing all that mommy and baby need to support each other. So yes, this may mean that you catch a glimpse of my chi-chi on the block one day, but dang that breast milk is free and is the best for baby and mom. It even cures most baby ailments. Serious. Smear a bit of chi-chi milk on baby's skin issue and voila! Gone. As far as the wide array of other junk, someone you know probably knows someone who knows someone who has one you can use in the meantime in between time. Or when you get that crib, you can lend it to someone you know who knows someone who needs it.

9. I might have lost a small fortune on creams and oils claiming to get rid of the river map of stretch marks on my belly. Lesson learned. Nothing can be done about those and it's a great way to regulate MILF behaviors such as sporting my string two-piece at the beach/club/grocery store.

8. I definitely had a slight panic attack when my son's fussiness was completely curbed by the wide array of funny-looking creatures on the boob tube. TV-watching to obsession might be contagious apparently. And I have a few letters to write, first to Yo Gabba Gabba. I mean, I'm glad to see the homie gainfully employed but do we have to put dude in a bright orange jumpsuit that's mad tight with the 80s boombox? And why can't we figure out how to make starting the revolution a great topic for young-ins rather than saying "pardon me?" I might say "pardon me PIG! I will not be further displaced by your racist policies" perhaps. It could be a week long series. But that's just me.

7. If you are deciding between disposable or non-disposable diapers, one week of disposables should provide the answer. The amount of garbage that disposable diapers create has to convince even the most conservative Republican that something aint right. I mean, it's a lot of garbage!! There are a number of biodegradable disposable diapers (I recommend Earth's Best and Seventh Generation). But don't depend on those because garbage is still garbage even if one is quicker to break down. And sometimes things are too biodegradable. As far as non-disposables, I really like gDiapers. You can flush or compost the center and keep re-using the shells. Bumgenius is cool but dang if they don't stink after a bit. And regular old cloth diapers work too. Just be willing to change those bad boys frequently.

6. Try the best you can to encourage your peoples not to buy clothes, trinkets, and gadgets for baby without asking you what's up first. I know, this isn't always possible. Trust me, I have a plethora of clothes that don't and won't fit and used teethers that I refuse to put in baby's mouth since no one knows who owned the thing first. With respect to clothes, baby may or may not fit into his size and some manufacturers account for large diaper sizes better than others. You also may not really know as baby will have random growth spurts. And although folks know not to interject their opinion regarding raising baby verbally, I've gotten enough religious books and tees to get the picture. Had they asked, we most definitely could have avoided some awkwardness.

5. Taking a hint from my new homie, Michael Pollan, start baby out right when it comes to first foods. Remember that fruits and veggies are good because of their skins and peels. So that stuff in the jar, pure sugar and no good fiber. Use your food processor, stick your organic apple in it and call it a day. Pay more for better food now rather than the doctor bill for all the diseases we've created as a result of our crappy diets. Babies don't need juice. It's just sugar. Same for a lot of those foods in the jar. Make it yourself and keep the peels on.

4. I've come to realize that the trophy for liberal Bay Areans is the mixed baby. I wanted to slap a number of people before I realized that, including a nurse at the delivery and a bunch of people living their natural foods fantasy at Whole Foods. If Barack Obama and my baby convince you that we've come a long way then that's cool but keep it to yourself. I'm a little annoyed with all the attention.

3. This country needs to work out its problem with nursing and motherhood. I got a whopping $100/month for maternity leave. Obviously, I had to go back to work after a few months only to find absolutely no where to pump in peace so baby has to have formula sometimes. I also can hardly pump since as a teacher, I can't get away for twenty minutes unless it happens to be during my designated break time. I realize now that I should have scheduled class around my pumping schedule but I didn't know what that would be months ago. So I am pretty uncomfortable most of the time.

2. Trust your instincts. You can probably figure it out without referring to some book. And if you want some confirmation, ask your homie.

1. You are always doing something for baby. Don't let anyone tell you that you or imply that you are being a bad mother or ignoring your baby. Even painting your toenails is doing right by baby because a calm, happy mommy is a good mommy.

Don't Stay in School!!!

I recently discovered that my obsession with all things MSNBC is pretty typical of grad students (there goes my attempt at being original). I used to be addicted to Democracy Now, but dude started getting on my nerves during the election. I basically felt that he, like many Latinos, had selective amnesia when it came to all that good that the Clintons have done. I mean, NAFTA is the greatest thing ever for Latin America. It even led to CAFTA-DR! Thanks guys! And then after the election, the constant Obama criticism. Don't get me wrong, Obama isn't perfect to me either: I think he should out of Iraq AND Afghanistan, for example. But I also recognize that the president has to have some savvy when it comes his job. He can't be super liberal, living in the trees for over a year, and trying to make decisions. Sorry can't happen.

But I do believe, like Bill Maher, that Obama needs to grow a set. The most recent controversy about his speech for school children is the perfect example. Conservatives are like five year olds, complaining just to complain, especially when the complaint is absolutely ridiculous: I don't want my kids listening to the president. To me, that was pure disrespect on a racist tip. But the hottest part came when they asked to read the speech beforehand. I mean, can you guess how this country might be different if we demanded to see Bush's speeches beforehand? We would have saved ourselves a whole lot of embarrassment, for one. We wouldn't have to fake accents when we are abroad. Think about how nice that would have been.

So if that wasn't the worst part, the Obama Administration actually released a copy. Fuck that. No other president has been asked to do that. None other. And these guys want to play all nice and actually do what these folks say!! I'm just floored. They demand that the president show them a copy of a speech and he does it, like a child. He's the president. Get over it.

On television, there were all these school-children discussing the speech. Much of them, like me, were wondering what the big deal was. I can make a guess: The president is Black and a nice chunk of the people believe that he couldn't be qualified or trusted. Perhaps he cheated his way through Harvard. Maybe he was just so charismatic that Harvard Law Review fell for it, but not you, conservative Southern Republican. He might be the president, but he's still Black and needs to be checked, apparently. And young people, who are all naive and trusting, may fall for it without the protection of conservative parents.

They asked for his birth certificate. He gave it to them when he didn't have to. A poll came out saying that a majority of the people who still don't believe Obama was born in the U.S. are either unsure or positively sure that Hawaii is not a state. Why are we responding to these folks? No wonder they took exception to a speech about staying in school.

It just makes me sad that they've run out of things to be mad out--they really ran out of things a long time ago--but they are still trying, to the country's detriment. Player has work to do, let him do it. And Obama, quit responding to these fools. Now if we can get Michelle to quit showing her arms in public!!

Rob

I'm not sure how it happened but I've become obsessed with Robert Pattinson, the vampire Edward Cullen from Twilight, New Moon, etc. I'm actually concerned right now since someone's Google search might turn up this posting and then a ton of teenagers are going to be disappointed when they look at this post and don't see some British guy with a sultry, vampire expression on his face pop up.

I'm blaming it on being pregnant and over-sensitive and tired of reading boring academic books about racism here, there, everywhere. I've been putting myself to sleep most nights reading about Edward and Bella working through their love affair while fighting off all the haters. But I'm trying to push past the insanity so here are ten reasons why I need to stop (hopefully this works):

10. Reading Capitalism and Slavery and other I Hate Whitey books got me fewer distasteful looks in the swanky coffee shops in Montclair than Eclipse. Twelve-year olds can be brutal.

9. There has to be a book on pregnancy or child-rearing that I haven't read yet. Well, there's the Jon & Kate series but they're pretty wack.

8. The books lead to a movie obsession that I definitely have to stop...after the last one comes out.

7. Most of those actors really aren't all that good. I really want to slap some feeling into Bella sometimes. I mean, it wouldn't be the same if Sean Penn managed to play Edward and Susan Sarandon as Bella but dang folks, a couple acting classes wouldn't hurt. Just something like, this is my hurt face and this is my sad face...something!

6. Brian might be getting annoyed with all my "well, Edward wouldn't do that" sidebars. Poor guy. He also once told me that people told him that he looked like Brad Pitt so I'm not mad about bringing him down a few notches even if it's with a fictional character.

5. There are too many white people in that book. I know it's the Pacific Northwest but dang, someone had to have moved from Portland up to Washington state at some point.

4. I'm actually angry with Jacob, the fictional shape-shifter. It's embarrassing and shameful.

3. It's not like I don't have anything to read or work on. And then there's my comic strip and the thought of going back to stand-up comedy. I have this great bit in mind about this pregnant, 30-something, Black women who reads Stephenie Meyer books everyday...oh...wait.

2. Whenever kids have persuaded me to get into what they are into, I have been sadly disappointed; this really shouldn't be an exception. Sorry Harry Potter and all those "Black interest" books at Barnes and Noble. It's great that the kids are reading but dang...

1. There is a bit too much religious judgment and hints of homophobia in the text that the filmmakers have wisely avoided thus far. I have to skip over any mention of saving her virtue and parental worries about her not having a boyfriend. Dos mucho.

Dread-lock woman

So I have to say that every woman sporting a natural do really wants a healthy, fast-growing head of hair. The woman with dreads is no exception. I'll also say that pre-natal vitamins really do the trick. I used to do just about everything and my hair grew relatively quickly. But now I feel like I can see it growing, right before my very eyes. I quite literally can't keep up with the twisting and some of the locks have like three or four inches of new, unlocked growth. It's fantastic. The only dilemma is that I can now see the end of some of my locks and mama isn't too happy about the way they look. I have a two inch rat tail looking thing next to my keyboard right now. I cut it off the other day...from one of the locks in the back. And you know this neat-freak, germ-a-phobe wasn't too happy about that.

My parents have always pushed me to have natural hair but I also have a lot of hair. My mom used to take hours to wash and comb my hair on the weekends, hair that at one point went down my back when stretched to its limit. Once when my mom was in the hospital for a few days, my dad took me to a salon since he didn't know what to do with my hair. The ladies did some major OT with a blow dryer and curling iron (no chemicals that time) and put my hair up. The next day, in my Catholic school uniform, running around with the boys, my classmates kept stopping me to talk about how long my hair was. It was a major difference from the usual braids with ribbons pinned to the top of my head. My mom used to wash my hair on weekends. It took hours. Sometimes she would have her friend come over and braid my hair into really small, intricate designs. That took the entire weekend. By the time I was in middle school, my mom was really tired of combing my hair and she took me to my brother and dad's barber shop. It all came off. I cried on the way back from the barber shop. And I started wearing earrings.

I didn't have long hair again until now. I experimented with braids a few times. One person asked how my hair grew so long over the weekend. I looked at her, waiting for a smile or something to acknowledge the existence of hair weaves, but nothing. So I told her that I got Miracle Gro plant food from the Thrifty's at the corner. The next day, she told me she bought some and was waiting for her hair to grow too. I can't help everybody. I really can't. She needed to learn that lesson.

For a long period of time I had a relaxer. That was a pain, especially running track. If we had practice in the pool, I would basically have to walk around all day with a mop on the top of my head. And with all the practices in the sun and sweating all the time, I had to wash my hair a lot...a major no-no for relaxed hair. And the expense. Perms cost a lot. The shop will charge upwards of $80 once a month. You could get a box of perm at Target for about $10 and become handy with a pair of scissors and curling iron like I did but run the risk of perm burn after perm burn on the forehead and ears. Not cute.

When I went off to the Peace Corps, I realized that if they didn't have running water, I didn't want to risk my perm and more perm burn so I cut it all off. Bald again. I was bald for a short time when I was in undergrad; that's when my brief modeling stint came about, looking mad androgynous. For a long time after the Peace Corps, I sported a fro, sometimes to unbelievable heights. I would braid it at night to get the curls out. In the summer, when I wasn't working with kids in schools and their parents who were bugging me about being too young, I would bleach the ends and dye the tips red, blue, purple...whatever Manic Panic I could grab.

I wasn't the best at keeping my hair in good shape. A classmate of mine at UCLA sat me down one day and showed me all the things I would need to keep natural hair healthy. I was shocked. My Nicaraguan mom with her fine hair did not have any idea! It wasn't long after that that I locked my hair, knowing what I needed to do to keep my hair clean (not easy) and healthy. I have to say out of everything that I've ever done to my hair, it looks the best this way, like it was meant to be locked.

Pregnancy

Whoa! Where have I been?! Pregnant. I pretty much blame everything, good or bad, on the fetus in my ever-expanding belly! Oh, I'm glowing? That's the baby. Did I forget to hand something in? Baby. Attitude problem? Well, I'm only getting ready to give birth so excuse me!!

I've had some really good days but mostly, I've been in some real pain. In the beginning, I was feeling awful: headaches, nausea, very tired and emotional. The back pain started around then but in the second trimester, the headaches and backaches became something different. One week, I was in excruciating pain: my abs felt like I was back in my track days doing a million crunches a day; my back and tailbone just weren't trying to participate in anything; and hips...like one of those Jigsaw movies when dude puts a contraption on the victim's hips and goes for it. And then it was over and I looked down and I was officially showing. The baby had moved.

Showing has been interesting for me, because--keeping it real--my stomach hasn't been in the best of conditions as of late. So when I knew I wasn't showing, folks would pat my gut and say "ahhhh, baby!" And I would just think, dang V, you have to get it together after the baby is born. I must also admit that I was showing way before the books said one would. But those pats when I was about six or eight weeks...all bad.

Anyway, here is a list of the top ten things I didn't know until I was pregnant:

10. Suddenly my mom didn't have any issues during pregnancy including a labor that lasted all of twenty minutes...both times.

9. Those stores don't grow a heart just because you are trying to have a baby. As a matter of fact, they really try to rob you blind with a lot of cutsie crap that no kid of mine would sport as long as I have anything to say about it.

8. I am really not liking the return of my acne from 1990.

7. Everything suddenly becomes a hazard: pants that are too long one might trip; every food item imaginable including Subway sandwiches; and non-organic food (Brian's addition). And if you have a mother like mine, you can't even walk in the rain or she'll report you to Child Services.

6. Reaching for a glass on the top shelf causes breach babies.

5. Wearing pants that cut across your belly will cause the baby to be born with a line across her/his head.

4. The reason a tiny baby arm doesn't pop out while you are on the toilet is because a jelly plug is in the way.

3. My cravings for potstickers mean that I am having a Chinese baby.

2. I have all kinds of belly-marks, including a dark line that runs the length of my belly, that make me keep my belly pictures to myself.

1. The gas!

Sorry Party People

The hiatus was totally unplanned. I had mega events happening in the vida including a move and oh yeah, grad student ish, that I completed neglected my public! I'll be back soon.

A few last words about the inauguration: hella dope even in the cold! There was a great energy and I mean that in the Bay hippy sense. It was a good time and I may consider doing it again in four years. As a politics-junkie, I must admit I felt like some kind of groupie during the ceremony with remarks like "oh look, there's Rahm Emanuel" or "Get Bill away from the Bush twins!" I was surprised to see the Governator there although he is so Hollywood, it makes perfect sense that he would. I was looking for Palin but not luck. I was surprised to see how feeble McCain looks when he can't control camera angles. Let me tell you, dude is mad hunched over and slow-moving. I was a bit worried about him in that cold. Really, I was. Just because I wouldn't vote for him, doesn't mean I want him to fall out in front of millions of people.

I am concerned that Pres. Sexy is looking a bit haggard these days. Not too much though; he still has that swagger. Thinking back to eight years ago, Pres. Hick was on vacation for like a year so I'm thinking that Pres. Mmmm Mmmm Good could take more days off. He has done a ton of things in a month, so it's all good with me.

More to come...