Friday, September 17, 2010

Where the heck have I been!?

Dang. Most of my posts as of late have to do with me not putting up posts. So here is another one of those. But you know I love those top ten lists, so here is a top ten of things I have done and learned in the last few months.

1. I've become super homies with RuPaul. I was trying to save a buck and ended up getting another cable provider (they aren't paying me so I'm saying which one). And this new cable provider happened to have a ton of new channels, including LoGo with a bunch of RuPaul shows. RuPaul's Drag Race and RuPaul's Drag it! Everyone say "love"!

2. I'm also into satellite radio now with my super long commute into Richie Rich-ville each day. And I never thought I'd say, but I'm really liking Oprah Radio. I didn't really appreciate all the hype about her season premiere, just watching a bunch of people getting to go on a trip while my ass was on the couch. Not fun. But her radio channel, not so bad.

3. I've renewed my love for Rachel Maddow. She's been doing a lot of great pieces on Don't Ask, Don't Tell and the Tea Party. Really insightful ish.

4. And my last thing about TV...what's up with those Salahis on the Real Housewives of DC? I am thoroughly confused.

5. California: we are jacked up when it comes to the governor's spot this next election. I can't stand Jerry Brown. Bill Maher once said that the so-called liberals of today would have been the moderates a decade ago and Jerry Brown is no exception. Trust me, I'm not asking for someone so far to the left that s/he doesn't wear shoes to work and lives in a tree-house in the redwoods somewhere, but dang, can I get someone that will have a NaS vision for the prisons, mixed with a little Moby on the environment (really, not too much), with some Peter Tosh "legalize it" vibe leading to some "border? what border?" MEChista stuff? I mean, is that too much?

6. PhDs...I'll save my commentary for that later. I will say this tough: many of you know I have a weird compulsion that comes up when I'm super stressed out. I start brushing my teeth like a maniac. Yes, it is weird. Currently even strangers are stopping me to comment on how white my teeth are...

7. Babies are the cutest people on the planet. I can't tell you the guilt I have when I think I'm not doing the right thing by my little man. But, I would like to edit a previous point about making your own baby food. Baby daddy does that...and let me tell you, nothing kills baby cute more than what happens when they've eaten too many vegetables. I make this same mistake every day: hey, did he poop? And then I put my nose right up against his bottom. When I'm done tearing up, convulsing, and gagging, he has already added to it. Vegetables are bad.

8. Working up in Richie Rich-ville has definitely highlighted a number of inconsistencies I have with whiteness. For example, I felt that I got dressed up today because I put on my penny loafers with my ripped jeans and hoodie. Some kid is missing school today for a horse show. My response was "what's that?" Answer: Equestrian. Question: Ok....what's that? I feel like not being too in the know on these matters maintains some of my street cred.

9. I've been making fun of Bay Area liberals for so long that I turned into one. Dammit. I was driving the Prius, with my iPhone hooked up, listening to some multi-genre, multi-ethnic band from the city, eating my organic fruit from some farm in Sonoma, with my mixed kid sitting in the back, using my free hand to re-twist a lock that is conditioned with nuts and berries probably from that same farm in Sonoma and I said to myself "look at yourself! Get a grip!" And decided we should have McDonald's for dinner. Had a hard time finding a damn McDonald's in Richie Rich-ville though. Dammit.

10. Upset with myself about becoming too much like the liberals I make fun of out here, I decided to do a clean-up of my iPhone apps. I figured if I didn't whip it out all the time, I wouldn't be such a token, right? I couldn't part with the NPR one, or even iObama or Obama '08 (I need to know what baby daddy alternate is up to). I also couldn't say goodbye to the Huffington Post app or Rachel Maddow. How else would I know what Sean Penn thinks about the world? I'm keeping my Constitution app in case I need to reference it with the cops. Not sure how that scenario will play out but I figure having a digital copy of it wouldn't hurt. Kept Pandora for the indy music. All I could get rid of were the NBA, NCAA, and NFL apps and that was only because the ESPN app has all that. I'm ashamed, people. I need an iPhone addict hotline. Holler if you know one.