Sandino Baby

I've been thinking about creating another blog about baby stuff but I can barely keep up with this one, so why am I tripping.

But I do have thoughts, and they come just about daily, with respect to trying to raise a little person in a somewhat natural way. With capitalism, we often times celebrate the success of McDonald's but a rarely critical of the fatal effects of consuming their products. I say that just so that we can keep this in mind when thinking about baby--these innocent little people who soak up the good and bad quite easily--and the importance of rejecting all the crap people try to sell mothers. So in keeping with what I do best, here is a top ten list of considerations for all us who are new mommies, either biologically or because you know me.

10. Indigenous peoples aren't pushing their babies around in a $500 stroller or putting baby to sleep in a thousand dollar crib. The body is quite amazing in providing all that mommy and baby need to support each other. So yes, this may mean that you catch a glimpse of my chi-chi on the block one day, but dang that breast milk is free and is the best for baby and mom. It even cures most baby ailments. Serious. Smear a bit of chi-chi milk on baby's skin issue and voila! Gone. As far as the wide array of other junk, someone you know probably knows someone who knows someone who has one you can use in the meantime in between time. Or when you get that crib, you can lend it to someone you know who knows someone who needs it.

9. I might have lost a small fortune on creams and oils claiming to get rid of the river map of stretch marks on my belly. Lesson learned. Nothing can be done about those and it's a great way to regulate MILF behaviors such as sporting my string two-piece at the beach/club/grocery store.

8. I definitely had a slight panic attack when my son's fussiness was completely curbed by the wide array of funny-looking creatures on the boob tube. TV-watching to obsession might be contagious apparently. And I have a few letters to write, first to Yo Gabba Gabba. I mean, I'm glad to see the homie gainfully employed but do we have to put dude in a bright orange jumpsuit that's mad tight with the 80s boombox? And why can't we figure out how to make starting the revolution a great topic for young-ins rather than saying "pardon me?" I might say "pardon me PIG! I will not be further displaced by your racist policies" perhaps. It could be a week long series. But that's just me.

7. If you are deciding between disposable or non-disposable diapers, one week of disposables should provide the answer. The amount of garbage that disposable diapers create has to convince even the most conservative Republican that something aint right. I mean, it's a lot of garbage!! There are a number of biodegradable disposable diapers (I recommend Earth's Best and Seventh Generation). But don't depend on those because garbage is still garbage even if one is quicker to break down. And sometimes things are too biodegradable. As far as non-disposables, I really like gDiapers. You can flush or compost the center and keep re-using the shells. Bumgenius is cool but dang if they don't stink after a bit. And regular old cloth diapers work too. Just be willing to change those bad boys frequently.

6. Try the best you can to encourage your peoples not to buy clothes, trinkets, and gadgets for baby without asking you what's up first. I know, this isn't always possible. Trust me, I have a plethora of clothes that don't and won't fit and used teethers that I refuse to put in baby's mouth since no one knows who owned the thing first. With respect to clothes, baby may or may not fit into his size and some manufacturers account for large diaper sizes better than others. You also may not really know as baby will have random growth spurts. And although folks know not to interject their opinion regarding raising baby verbally, I've gotten enough religious books and tees to get the picture. Had they asked, we most definitely could have avoided some awkwardness.

5. Taking a hint from my new homie, Michael Pollan, start baby out right when it comes to first foods. Remember that fruits and veggies are good because of their skins and peels. So that stuff in the jar, pure sugar and no good fiber. Use your food processor, stick your organic apple in it and call it a day. Pay more for better food now rather than the doctor bill for all the diseases we've created as a result of our crappy diets. Babies don't need juice. It's just sugar. Same for a lot of those foods in the jar. Make it yourself and keep the peels on.

4. I've come to realize that the trophy for liberal Bay Areans is the mixed baby. I wanted to slap a number of people before I realized that, including a nurse at the delivery and a bunch of people living their natural foods fantasy at Whole Foods. If Barack Obama and my baby convince you that we've come a long way then that's cool but keep it to yourself. I'm a little annoyed with all the attention.

3. This country needs to work out its problem with nursing and motherhood. I got a whopping $100/month for maternity leave. Obviously, I had to go back to work after a few months only to find absolutely no where to pump in peace so baby has to have formula sometimes. I also can hardly pump since as a teacher, I can't get away for twenty minutes unless it happens to be during my designated break time. I realize now that I should have scheduled class around my pumping schedule but I didn't know what that would be months ago. So I am pretty uncomfortable most of the time.

2. Trust your instincts. You can probably figure it out without referring to some book. And if you want some confirmation, ask your homie.

1. You are always doing something for baby. Don't let anyone tell you that you or imply that you are being a bad mother or ignoring your baby. Even painting your toenails is doing right by baby because a calm, happy mommy is a good mommy.